Today is the fourth anniversary of the death of our son, Matthew.  He was a senior at Stetson University, and hanged himself in his dorm room.  There would seem to be no pleasant memories of this day for our little family, but many things have come to pass to make us appreciate the life of our son, and what he meant to us and many others.

My wife, Linda, is in the process of writing on this subject.  I will publish her words in this blog in the next day or two.

On Monday, October 27, 2003 at about two o'clock in the afternoon, the doorbell summoned me to the front door to see a couple of Roswell, GA police officers on my front porch.  After asking for ID, I let them in and deposited them in the living room.  The den was thoroughly trashed with my stuff, and was not presentable. 

They were not there to pass judgment on my housekeeping habits.

Very professionally, the lead officer explained that they had been contacted by the DeLand Florida Police Department, and my son had been found dead in his Stetson University dormitory room that morning.  He had committed suicide.

My first thought was that the little scamp had finally done it!  It took a few minutes for me to realize that I would not be able to fuss at him for doing such a stupid thing.  Reality has a way of catching up with you.

The next few days were a blur of activity. Family, friends, church members, and just plain nice people did nice things to help us cope and get through this tough time.  We could have never made it without them.  I will let Linda tell you about these things.

There are a couple of things I want to mention, and these are the practical things you have to face when a loved one dies.

Lesson #1: 

When you are ready to bury a loved one, funeral homes do not negotiate.  Plan ahead, and if it is practicable, buy some family grave lots.  You will get a better price that way. 

This is easier said than done, because so many families are like ours, and tend to move about the country.  A lot of people don't know where they will wind up, and a burial lot is the last thing they will consider. No pun intended.

Lesson #2: 

Yes.  You do need life insurance on children in spite of what ignorant talk-radio hosts say.  Life insurance for minors costs very little, and if your child dies, you will not have to raid your life savings for a $15,000 to $20,000 funeral.  Matthew's funeral, including the cost of casket, vault, grave lot, and marker cost a bit over $14,000.  It was not cheap.  Thank God I ran into a good life insurance salesman when Matthew was little.  If he had lived he could have assumed the small premiums, or could have taken advantage of the cash value. 

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